Two Fat Ninjas – How we cook food here


We are the Two Fat Ninjas

Yes, we are considering to change our company name to “Two Fat Ninjas Catering”.

Sounds funny. Looks funny. It definitely is kind of funny. But we might look and sound funny, but trust me, we are also serious – very, very serious about food.

Let me explain.

First of all: would you trust a pilot who is afraid of heights? Would you trust a surgeon who is squeamish, disgusted by blood?

Then why would you ever trust a skinny cook?

We at Old Country love food. We love good food. And we cook some of the best food around. I know, I tried most of it…

We make food that is bold. With a taste that is daring and forward. We are not scared of Butter, Bacon, Suet, Bone Marrow or Pork Fat.

We roast Veal bones to make our own Demi Glace. We fire – burn the chili peppers for our own sauce. There are 6 other different vegetables pureed in our tomato sauce. We do not compromise.

We do not serve bland, factory made food. We make our food from scratch.

Our Meatballs are made with real Meat. And Balls.

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We make food that is strong, that is not fat-free, sugar-free, cholesterol free, taste free. Food that you should not eat every day. But we run a banquet facility. For Banquets. For Parties. It is the food you eat when you celebrate. It is the food that you praise yourself. It is a treat. That is the food you choose to rejoice, jubilate, feast. Hearty comfort food to honor life.


No, we, are not going to live to be hundred…. with the life we live, even fifty is going be a jackpot, but we will try it all and live it all and feel it all.

Do we want to be fat? No, we don’t. Do we like to be fat? No, we don’t. Do we have to be fat? Oh, hell, yes, yes we do. If food is the job, the life we have chosen, then we will do the food we love, and we will live the life we love and we will live it, eat it, explore it fully and carelessly.

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“To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. “ Anthony Bourdain

I know Antony Bourdain also said that work in the kitchen is too demanding, too busy to get fat; that you need to be skinny to move through the kitchen and all the running staff. Well, I love the guy but he is wrong. I worked in kitchens of many great chefs, and I will tell you when the chef comes, everybody moves out of his way. I was skinny when I was a busboy in Spain. That was 18 years ago.

A time is coming when 20 billion people will have to live from food that will only remind us of the foods we can eat today. Food printed in 3D printers, meat that was grown in labs from stem cells, genetically modified tasteless vegetables… If we want to survive, as humanity, this is how it will have to be.

I just had a vacation and ate (and prepared in a special charcoal oven) some of the last Adriatic octopus, and the tuna and cod we are eating right now will disappear in our lifetime.

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But while I am here, I will cook and eat things some people already just remember from their youth.